I try to be a good person. I really do. And part of that is telling people what I am not up for.
But another part of that is that I don't want to hurt people.
These things are conflicting.
I'm afraid to leave the person I've been staying with because they've told me half a dozen times at least that I was the reason they didn't kill themselves. How am I supposed to deal with this?
It's not just worry. I try not to worry too much. It's genuine. I don't know if they'll stay alive.
But I can't make that my life, can I? Is sacrificing what I want to be doing okay if it saves another life? Surely two lives are better than one.
I wish I hadn't gotten this involved, but then I don't because I love them. And I want them to be around.
I just want everything to stop for a minute so I can breathe again.